Review: The Witness

Posted by on February 26th, 2016 | 4 Comments | Tags:

Everyone’s raving over The Witness. I don’t get The Witness. First things first, The Witness is absolutely captivating to look at. It’s a feast. I want to see this in VR and just walk around the island. Completely absolutely stunning. Super immersive. Huge. Varied. Ambiance. Mysterious.

Know what isn’t stunning? Removing me from the greatest looking video game I’ve ever seen and making me stare at a grid to solve a snake puzzle. Then making me repeat that 600+ times. So obviously, got to recommend that you find out if you actually like these types of puzzles before playing. Now I’ll fess up, I didn’t hate them all. I enjoyed the ones that involved the beautiful environment that I kept wanting to stare at, those I found quite interesting. The majority I found aggravating or boring. I can recognize this game just may not have been for me.

Maybe I’m being too cruel to a puzzle game. The puzzles are all beatable. Some may require pictures or hand-drawn maps. Some are satisfying. But then again, maybe I’m not being cruel enough. I found the experience about as thrilling as a sudoku book. The Witness is a 40 dollar Sudoku book…of tetromino puzzles. If you like tetromino puzzles, or snake puzzles, or mazes, or hedge mazes, or shadow puzzles, by all means, jump in. Drawing lines with a controller wasn’t an other-worldly experience. It just made me wish I was playing this on a tablet. It’s only the pretty wrapper that’s making me give this above a 50%.

A copy of this game was provided by the publisher for review purposes. For more info on our review policy click here.

General Info

  • Players:
  • Ratings:
  • Most of the other Puzzles.

  • Stephen

    You totally didn’t get it. Which is okay. But you totally didn’t get it.

    Still pretty impressive that you disliked the majority of the game (and totally missed the point) and still have it 3 1/2 stars.


    • Corey Lewis

      I totes hated this game, it’s not for me! 7/10.

    • Brad

      Go on..

  • This game is WAY better than Sudoku. I *hate* sudoku. Give me Akari or Hashi any day over Sudoku.

    The funny part is, the vast majority of the puzzles in the game do have some environmental factor to them. The ones that don’t have an environmental factor are mostly tutorials to teach you how the rules work. You’re not just drawing boxes into the puzzle, you’re drawing how you want the bridge to move. You can’t just solve that puzzle by looking at its shape, you have to look at the tree nearby. Oops, this one has no solution even with the tree, you have to find the piece of the tree that broke off and figure out where it connected the rest.

    Then once you finish the game, there’s a whole new class of puzzles that are built right into the environment that you can only see at certain viewing angles.